A little about a lot

Friday, August 01, 2008

a 13-pound day. No wait. A 12-pound day.

So, I'm getting married in 57 days. The only reason I know the amount of days is because The Knot tells me so every time I log in. Right now it's kind of fun because 57 days is, like, LONG. But I'm thinking when it's 15 days or something along those lines I'm going to be all "15 days! 15 days! Are they counting today in that?!"

Anyhow. 57 days. That should be enough to lose 10 pounds right? I mean. It's more like 8-12 pounds depending on the day and if I'm wearing my lose jeans that make me feel skinny or my tight jeans that make me want to leave work and literally run home and then eat ice for the next three weeks.

Which leads me to this:

Oprah, in all her glorious wisdom, has posted this article on her web site about women's crazy weight math.

An excerpt:
"Most women know that it is possible to immediately gain 15 pounds by eating one pint of Ben & Jerry's. And when it comes to your butt (which can enlarge six sizes in the wrong pair of jeans), the rules of physics no longer apply.
We need a better way to quantify these fluctuations -- a formula that goes beyond your BMI and calculates the feel of overweight. So I propose the personal body image index (PBII).

The general idea is as follows:

• Start with your weight.
• Subtract seven pounds if you have just worked out.
• Add five if you've single-handedly finished a plate of guacamole and chips; four for macaroni and cheese; six for death-by-chocolate cake.
• Subtract 10 pounds if people nearby are fatter than you.
• If you're wearing black pants, subtract two; if in a bathing suit, add eight."

Yes! It is ridiculous how true this is!

So, along those lines, today I started out about five pounds lighter because I put on my "tight" jeans for the sole purpose of reminding myself that I did not need to eat my weight in food today and found them to 1. look damn good and 2. not be toooo tight, just snug.

It's now 3 p.m. on the nose and I've gained those five pounds back and probably another 8 on top of that because my boss brought in donuts and I ate three.

Wait, wait - subtract a pound because I'm only drinking water today. No soda. Which doesn't do anything to my weight but makes me feel healthier in general.


At 3:09 PM, Blogger Michal (Michelle) said...

This is SO TRUE. Have you had your first dress fitting yet? My final fitting is tomorrow! I'm at 30 days...

I think the 30-15 day period is the worst because you can actually still do things, and you see-saw between "YES I NEED PETAL CONES" and "Puh-leeze, like I have time for that."

The worst is when you go to Michael's to buy materials to make a project and then kick yourself for the next few days, wondering if you're actually going to do it.

At 15 days to go, I give up all control and I can't wait!

At 3:37 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

I started off at an OK weight, then gained 5 for pasta, but subtract about 500 for standing at Noodles for 4 hours. So therefore, I am negative weight and no longer exist.

At 3:58 PM, Blogger eeds said...

I have done the dress fitting. It's looking good but I could stand to lose a few pounds. 10 might be excessive. Five would be good. :)

I'm so envious of you! 30 days! That's great. :)

Also, I'm already at the "puh-leeze" stage. :) ha. I don't think I make for a very good bride. Luckily Seth is forgiving. :)

At 5:07 PM, Blogger sarah said...

Eeds...in my husband's opinion, the fact that you don't "make for a very good bride" makes you more likely to be a good wife. :)


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