A little about a lot

Friday, January 28, 2005


I've decided to take up Yoga, and am going to my first class tonight.
I will have to find something to do for about half an hour before the class starts, but I think I'll bike or something to get my muscles warmed up. They hurt right now from the bike and the pool.

This has been a good week. I had some good leads and some good stories. I'm tired and am ready for the weekend, but I hope next week is just the same.

I'll let you know how the yoga goes- more later!


Friday, January 07, 2005

The 23-year-old realizes a few things

It's been awhile. I've started to write before, but my brain and my heart just wouldn't cooperate.

I wanted to write, but I couldn't put into words what was going on in my brain and heart. That is a state that I don't like to be in - where I can't describe in words how I'm feeling.

I'm blessed that I ususally have the ability to communicate how I feel. Sometimes I can even put into words what others are feeling. I remember that once, my friend Anna told me that she loved how I could tell her what she was feeling. :) What a great compliment.

Tonight I'm flying to Chicago to see Steve and Stacy, and coming back on Sunday night. I'm looking forward to my time there. To being away. I love their apartment because it sits so high above the bustle of Chicago. It's like a save haven.

This week has been kind of a tough one.
I'm feeling more and more confident in my stories and in knowing the issues that affect my readers, but even with that confidence, I've been making a lot of mistakes and had to have a sit-down meeting with Loren.

No worries over-protective family. It was very warranted and he was more than nice.

Anyhow, I was bummed for about a day because I realized that even though I pray that God would lead me to be hardworking, joyful, kind, obediant and patient each day, I wasn't being hardworking. I was being sloppy.

I think that I am a hard-working person. I always have been - basketball - the Collegian - it's just who I am. BUT - I realized that maybe I'm only hardworking in the aspects of my life that I know are going to get me results.

Like - I work hard at writing more stories that explore deeper issues, etc. Stories that are more fun to read - I work hard at that because I know that if I do, I'll have more bylines, more people will read my stuff, I might get a compliment or a promotion type thing, etc. All rewards I can SEE or FEEL.

With things like, double checking all the facts - not just names or numbers - there is no reward I can see or feel. You can't EXCEED someone's expectation with your abiltiy to be accurate. You just should be. Period.

I didn't think about it, because I was so focused on exceeding people's expectations of me - not just meeting them.

Silly girl.

Accuracy is an important, if not the most important aspect of being a journalist. The ones (like me before all of this realization) who don't spend a lot of time on it are the ones who make my job more difficult because people fear reporters.

Anyhow - my Yoda tells me to puke and go on, and I have - with a new determination to be hardworking in even in times that even all my hard work won't exceed anyone's expectation of me.

I talked to Nanaw Power last night. I miss my grandparents so much. I wish I could see them more often. I miss Par, the most, because he is not a talk-on-the-phone kind of guy. I get my distaste for talking on the phone from my mother, who must get it from Par. :)

What a great guy.

I guess That's about it for today, anyhow. This morning I had an awesome quiet time, and read this Psalm, that is really a prayer for forgivenesss. It is exactly what I want to say to God when I'm asking him to forgive one of my many bone-head moves. I wanted to share it with whoever would take time to read it.
Talk about amazing writing. Talk about someone who knows how to express in words what they are feeling.

Psalm 51
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion

blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity

and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,

and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned

and done what is evil in your sight,

so that you are proved right when you speak

and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,

sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;

you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;

wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins

and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence

or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

and sinners will turn back to you.

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,

the God who saves me,

and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 O Lord, open my lips,

and my mouth will declare your praise.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart,

O God, you will not despise.

(this Psalm has two more verses)